All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
