Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize