yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize