I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
