We're facebook friends in real life
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
