my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
