I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
