why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
