apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
