And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize