no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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