1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
