i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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