She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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