please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
