omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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