hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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