just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize