i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
