For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
