It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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