yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i've created a new STD.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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