do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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