I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize