I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
