AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
