You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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