Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
