i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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