I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
