Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
