By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
