so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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