Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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