You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
