Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize