he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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