everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
