She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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