I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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