Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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