I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
