Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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