he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
