She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
