Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
