You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize