I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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