he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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