There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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