I think I just saw someone hide a body.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
