I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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