Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
