Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
