dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
