Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
