You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
