I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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