Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
