I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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