bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
