K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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