I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
