i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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