I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
