You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
