Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
