she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
