We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
