Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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