Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
