we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
