.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
