Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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