Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize