I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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