recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
