i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
